Am I a chav?
what is a chav?
- Do you wear lots of burberry?
- Do you wear tracksuit tucked into your socks?
- Do you want to be on Trisha?
- Is your girlfriend pregnant and determined not to let it interfere
with her schoolwork?
Is Vicky Pollard a chav? See the little britain page to see a pic of
Vicky
See this page for a desktop wallpaper of the lovely vicky
You can either wait til we've finished writing out quiz or post
your picture on this amusing site - you've been warned there are
a couple of gross pics (Nudity: male and barbara windsor)
Chav lad:
| Most likely to be wearing |
awful baseball cap at a jaunty angle.
Tracksuit with socks tucked in. Fake brands. |
| Bad habits |
Smokes and drinks |
| Jewellery |
Excessive amounts of bling. |
| Locations to find them |
Mcdonalds and other fast food bars. |
| Most likely to be heard saying |
Whats your problem?
Wanna make sommin of it?
Bling Bling
Init (isn't it) |
| Most likely to be seen with: |
pregnant girlfriend.
Other chav mates |
| Most like to drive: |
Anything with a huge exhuast. |
| Least likely to be seen at |
employment/working, |
| Least likely to be heard saying |
No, I really want a job! |
Chav Lass
| Most likely to be wearing |
Tracksuit ends midcalf, trainers no socks. |
| Bad habits |
smoking, chewing gum drinking alcopops |
| Jewellery |
HUGE earrings |
| Locations to find them |
With their chav boyfriends |
| Most likely to be heard saying |
I'd like to start the kids at school before I finish my gcses |
| Most likely to be seen |
pregnany |
| Least likely to be seen at |
the family planning clinic |
| Most likely to be called |
Bayleeee, Cassidy , Cassidy, Britney-Cristal, |
| Number of babies and dads |
You're not a real chavette until you've had two kids by different
blokes. |
Chav Jokes
What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!
2 CHAVS jump off Beachy Head, Who wins ?
Society!
The Government have approached the Chav's to ask them if they would like
(on joining a single currency with europe)
to have the currency of the country renamed.
The Chav's have replied that they prefer to keep is as the Giro.
Q: What's the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke
of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of york only had ten thousand men.
A: Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A: A Nova seats
4
Q: What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
A: Granny.
Q:. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:
One, they'll
screw anything.
Q: What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A:
A start.
Q: How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
A:
None, "That's
some uvver bleeders job innit."
Q: Why did the chav take a shower?
A:
He didn't mean to, he just forgot
to close the Nova's window in the car wash
Q: Why did the Chav cross the road?
A:
To start a fight with a random
stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q: What do you call a Chav at college?
A: The cleaner.
Q: What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
A: One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
Q: What do you call a large group of chavs decending on a pub?
A: A Chavalanche
Q: What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A: A bus shelter!
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching
Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation
of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for
lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before
we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce
where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the
counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
Chav walks into the job centre and says "I'd really like a job" so the
bloke behind the counter says "Oh I've got one here that's just right
for you... ten hours a week, 400 hundred thousand a year, no qualifications
required"
So the chav's little face lights up and he says "You're joking right",
somewhat awed at the prospect of it all.. So the job centre bloke says
"Well you started it"
Q. If you see a Chav on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle
Q: What do you call a Chavr in a suit?
A: The accused.
Q: What do u call a knife in chaville?
A:
Exhibit A
Q: What do you call a Chav in a three-bed semi?
A: A burglar.
Q: What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
Q: What do you say to a chav on a bike?
A: Stop Thief!
Q: What do you say to a chav in a uniform?
A: Big Mac and fries please.
Q: What's the first question at a Chav pub quiz night ?
A: What are you looking at?
Q: What do you call a chav in a White tracksuit ?
A: The Bride
Q: Why are chavs like laxatives?
A - Because they irritate the shit out of you.
Q. How do you save a chav from drowning?
A. Take your foot of his head.
Q: What do you call a Chav in a box?
A:
Innit.
Q: What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
A:
Sorted.
Q: What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
A:
Safe.
Q: What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
A:
Innuinnit.
Q: Why are Chavs like slinkies?
A:
They have no real use but it's great
to watch one
fall down a flight of stairs.
Q: What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
A: "What you lookin' at?"
Q: How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
A:
Paint three stripes on it.
Q: 2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
A:
The police.
Q:
Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out?
A:
Up the gary!
2 Chavs are riding along the motorway from Chavchester to Chavpool on
a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker
stops to see if he can help and the chavs ask him for a lift. He tells
them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls
but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows
but is unable to repair it.
Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the
chavs he has to leave.
"
R hey mate" they say "init givus a lift".
The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying
20,000 bowling balls. The chavs put it to the driver that if they
can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. They manage
to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon
so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he
is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the Police pulls
him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying
to which he replies Chav Eggs. The policeman
obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the
back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers
as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires
so many officers.
"
I've got a wagon with 20,000 Chav eggs in it - 2 have already hatched
and the b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".
Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins? Society.
Q:How do you confuse a chav?
A: Put it in a round room and tell it to piss in the corner.
Q:What do you call a Chavette who can outrun her brothers?
A: A virgin
|
Give
an ASBO 
